The Tricks That Help Maintain Peace at Home
” Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” – Albert Einstein
When you’re less occupied with putting out fires and dealing with misbehaving children, your main concern becomes maintaining the peace.
Any successful CEO will tell you that when the company is running well and things are going smoothly, that’s when it’s most important to maintain the company’s status. If you run your home and family like a successful business, then you can relate to this advice. When all is functioning well, that’s the time you are most concerned with maintaining the peace…that’s understandable.
Tools and strategies for maintaining peace at home…
These are tools and secrets that behaviorists have used for years to maintain positive behaviors. These tools and strategies will help you maintain and continue to foster good choices by your kids. On many occasions, your kids make good decisions, behave well, comply with your request, and simply put – do the right thing! Unfortunately, it’s often when kids misbehave that we notice them.
It’s when they act out that kids get more attention from adults. Wouldn’t it be great if we could reward good behaviors all the day? You may feel that as a busy parent, you can’t possibly be available and attentive to your child every minute of the day in order to notice every positive choice. You are absolutely right. In fact, I would recommend against watching your child like a hawk every minute of every day!
Here are a few actions that may seem small, but can go a long way in maintaining the peace in your home. Note, that you can do any of these occasionally, or a combination of these once per day. Once you get into the habit of doing them, it will feel more natural and comfortable over time. I am including some examples to help demonstrate my point.
Make comments in passing:
Giving feedback to your kids can be a powerful way of rewarding their choices. Just a word or two can make all the difference.
This is Laura’s story…
A moment of suspicious silence in a otherwise busy and normal day!
Laura was running around the house completing chores while her kids were playing or doing their homework. She happened to notice that her girls were being very quiet. She hoped they were either playing cooperatively or doing their homework and not destroying something. In quiet moments, parents tend to think one of two things:
- “Oh finally, a moment of peace and quiet. I’m not going to mess with that!”
- Or “I wonder what’s going on now?”
Laura took a moment and found her girls playing together with some of their shared toys. She chose to notice their positive behavior and rewarded it by saying, “Hey, you two, good job sharing.”
When you make a short, positive comment that is specific, you not only validate your child’s choice (positive behavior), but you also bring attention to a good behavior. That good behavior is then much more likely to increase over time. It is important to emphasize how significant your attention to desirable behaviors can be, and how it may have a very positive impact on your children’s choices.
This is just the beginning of several tips and tools I have to share with you that will help keep peace at home, in my next article I’ll talk about more of them.
This is an excerpt taken from my book: “Create Happy Kids”
If you would like to read more you can order your copy today by clicking on the “Buy Now” button at the right.
I am available to do Parent Education Workshops, either Private or PTA Sponsored Classes. Contact me at 425-772-6698.