As Parents, Are You Working Together?

“Life is the first gift, Love is the second and understanding, the third.” – Marge Piercy (American Poet)

Whether you are a  single parent or part of a parent team, you always want the best for your kids. Single parents often report that the biggest challenge they face is being the only one in charge and having all the responsibility.

That definitely has its challenges. Some single parents have told me it can be very lonely and scary at times to raise a child alone; however, sometimes they can appreciate the fact that they don’t have partners  who would undermine them.

Parenting takes teamwork, it takes working together.

Finding the balance…

Moms and dads in many parent teams have often told me they’re not on the same page as their partners. This imbalance can be challenging for the family as a whole. Children may receive mixed messages when their parents don’t see things eye to eye.

Parent teams take many forms:

• Two parents (or legal guardians) living under the same roof with your kid(s)
• A single parent whose kids spend time with another parent figure
• Divorced/separated parents who share custody of the kids
• Step-parents in a family (with or without previous children from prior relationships.)

No matter which category you find yourself in, the following facts apply to you:

• If you see yourself on the list above, then you are “co-parenting.”
• You and your parent partner(s) need to show your kids that you are a team, a united front.
• You need essential tools to become (or remain) a successful team to take charge of your parenting responsibilities.

Parenting Challenges

One of the biggest challenges in co-parenting is having a united front. In a household where two parents live under the same roof, co-parenting successfully depends on the following factors:

• Communication between parents
• Having compatible values with your parenting partner
• Respecting the other parent’s point of view (whether you agree or not)
• Negotiating and problems-solving as a team
• Showing your kids a united front

In a household where the parent team does not live under the same roof (parents are separated or divorced and sharing custody), there is often a lack of compatibility in parenting styles and approaches to discipline.

Regardless of this factor, your success in co-parenting depends on the following:

• Communication between parents
• Respecting the other parent’s point of view (whether you agree or not)
• Negotiating and problem solving as a team (often includes compromise)
• Showing your kids a united front

This is the first in a 6 part series. In future articles, we will discuss the factors that will create successful co-parenting.

I am available to do Parent Education Workshops, either Private or PTA Sponsored Classes. Contact me at 425-772-6698.